


Someone To Lean On

by Storytelling_Sparrow



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Genderfluid Logic | Logan Sanders, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Neopronouns, Nonbinary Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Secret Santa Fic 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 08:54:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21966718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Storytelling_Sparrow/pseuds/Storytelling_Sparrow
Summary: Logan has been having a rough month. Good thing hyr partner Virgil is there for hyr!
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 6
Kudos: 56





	Someone To Lean On

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DemigodNamedAthena](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemigodNamedAthena/gifts).



> This is my Secret Santa fic for a good friend!
> 
> Logan is genderfluid and uses he/him, xe/xem and zhe/hyr pronouns. In the course of this fic, they use zhe/hyr
> 
> Virgil is nonbinary and uses he/them pronouns

Logan walked up to the front desk, carefully balancing the stack of books in hyr arms. The librarian in charge ignored hyr, but this was a normal occurrence. Of course Mrs. Edwards had to be the one manning the front desk; she was the only librarian who didn’t like Logan. Logan had a feeling zhe knew why this was the case, but zhe didn’t know for sure. Zhe cleared hyr throat after about a minute had passed and finally the librarian looked up from her computer at hyr.

“Can I help you?” she asked, clearly annoyed. She cast a glance at the books and rolled her eyes. “The self-check counter is over by the new books section.” Logan bit hyr lip as zhe set hyr books down onto the desk, hyr library card on top of them. Zhe smoothed out hyr skirt and as zhe did so, saw Mrs. Edwards give hyr a look as if she’d smelled something awful.

“I need to check these books out, please. The self-check won’t allow me to do so because these are interlibrary loans.”

Mrs. Edwards sighed in irritation but scanned Logan’s card and the books. Once she was done she shoved the books back in Logan’s direction. “There you go.”

Logan made no move to leave. No matter what Logan did, she was always so rude to hyr. Zhe didn’t know what to do. Hyr friend Patton crossed hyr mind and zhe decided to take a leaf from his book. In as sweet a voice as zhe could manage, zhe said “I hope you have a good day!” before taking hyr things and walking out.

Zhe felt a little better once zhe was out the library doors. A soft sigh escaped hyr lips. Zhe was used to people being judgmental and rude but this month it had been an almost daily occurrence. So what if Logan like wearing skirts and dresses sometimes? They were just clothes; it wasn’t like zhe was hurting anyone. Logan would never understand some people’s need to be hurtful to others just for being different.

Logan adjusted hyr belongings and made hyr way down the library steps and onto the sidewalk. The walk home would only take ten or fifteen minutes; plenty of time to think about what all zhe had to take care of today. The thoughts in hyr head were an endless loop.

_ “I need to finish my homework for science and English, the dishes need to be washed, it’s about time to vacuum again, and the trash probably needs to go out as well. The bookshelves are getting dusty, I should probably clean the sinks in the bathrooms… “ _ Logan felt hyrself getting overwhelmed at the prospect of everything that needed to be done. All zhe wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep but zhe knew zhe couldn’t. Not until tonight, at least, and it was only just past noon.

Hyr phone rang and zhe scrambled to grab it from hyr pocket. It was hyr partner, Virgil. “Hello?”

“Hey, L, where are you?” 

“I just left the library, I should be home here in a bit. Why do you ask?”

“You’re usually here by now is all. Did you get distracted at the library again?” His tone was light and teasing.

“Here where?” Logan asked, but before Virgil could answer, realization struck hyr. Zhe checked hyr watch and cursed inwardly. “Oh for the love of- it’s Tuesday, isn’t it?” How could zhe have forgotten about their regular Tuesday lunch?

Virgil’s tone shifted to one of confusion as they said “Yeah, I’m at the diner already. I haven’t ordered yet though, so I can come pick you up from the house if you want?”

“Yes please, I have to drop off my books and then I’ll be ready.” Logan felt near tears at hyr stupid mistake but zhe swallowed them down. Zhe couldn’t cry; zhe  _ wouldn’t _ cry. 

“I’m so sorry for forgetting, Virgil. I completely spaced on what day it was.”

Zhe could hear the sound of a car door closing. “Hey it’s okay, it happens. Are you sure you’re alright? You seem-”

Logan hurried to cut Virgil off. “I’m fine! Really, I’m fine. I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah, okay… see you soon. Love you, L.”

“Love you too, bye.”

Logan hurried the rest of the way home, wanting to freshen up before Virgil got there. Zhe knew zhe had been forgetting something, which was unlike hyr. Lately zhe had been forgetting all kinds of things, which only made hyr situation worse.  _ “Stay calm, you can do this, just relax, Logan,” _ zhe said to hyrself as zhe reached the front door. Just as Logan unlocked it, there was a ripping noise and the library books tumbled out of the bag and onto the ground. Zhe cried out and bent to gather them up. Of  _ course _ this had to happen too.

Logan could feel the tears bubbling up again but zhe bit them back.  _ “No, no, no, none of that. I refuse. Stay strong, don’t cry, it’s fine…”  _ Zhe repeated this mantra to hyrself as she made her way inside and set down hyr books on the coffee table. Logan took a deep breath, attempting to settle hyrself before heading into the bathroom.

A few minutes later, zhe heard the front door open. Virgil called out “Hey starlight, I’m home! Where are you?”

Logan glanced at hyrself in the mirror, frowning before heading out to meet Virgil in the kitchen. “I’m here. I’m so sorry about our lunch date, I don’t know why it slipped my mind.”  _ Lie. You’re a liar. _ Logan ignored the ugly thought and hugged Virgil, who immediately held hyr close.

“Hey it’s alright, the diner was more crowded than usual anyways. Maybe we can order something and have it delivered? Or I think we have some leftovers from when we went to Ro and Pat’s the other day, that should still be good.”

Logan backed up, shaking hyr head adamantly. “No! No, the diner is fine, that’s what we always do. It’s fine, let’s go, I-” Hyr voice was trembling and Virgil frowned, shushing hyr gently.

“Shh, shh, hey, it’s okay. Let’s sit down so we can talk, alright?” 

Zhe nodded reluctantly, that voice in hyr head sharp and hard to ignore.  _ “Now look what you did! Virgil goes through enough without having to deal with you too. What is wrong with you?”  _ Virgil sat down at the table and moved a chair close to them. Logan took hyr seat, hands wringing together despite hyr best efforts not to.

Virgil gently took Logan’s hand in his. “Logan. I'm going to ask you something and I need you to answer me honestly. Okay?” His voice was laced through with concern and Logan couldn’t bring hyrself to look at them.

“Logan please look at me.” Logan bit hyr lip and looked into hyr partner’s warm brown eyes. Zhe saw the worry and sadness there and Logan couldn’t breathe. “Is everything okay?”

Those three words were enough to cause the dam to break inside hyr chest. A sob rose up and escaped hyr lips before they all came tumbling out, and this time there was nothing zhe could do to stop it.

“I- I’m s-sorry, I’m so sorry, Virgil, I-” Logan tried to apologize, to pull hyrself together, but couldn’t do it no matter how hard zhe tried. Hyr partner held hyr and let hyr cry it out, rubbing hyr back and murmuring soft words of reassurance.

“It’s okay, let it out, love, I’m here now.” Virgil was warm and his voice was so soft and sweet and Logan clung tighter to them. This went on for some time until finally the tears stopped flowing. Logan wiped the tears away and pulled back. Even though Virgil had seen hyr cry before, zhe felt embarrassed of hyrself.

“Virgil, I’m sorry… I’m okay, really, I just need to calm down, you know? I’ll be fine.” Logan looked at hyr partner, who was frowning. 

“L, it’s okay to cry. Do you want to talk about what’s been going on? If there’s anything I can do to help make you feel better, I want to know. You can talk to me about anything, you know that, right?”

Logan nodded reluctantly and let out a sigh. Zhe hadn’t wanted to say anything but it was far too late now. Virgil would only keep asking, so why prolong the inevitable? Logan held tightly to Virgil’s hands and spoke. “I’ve just been… struggling, with some things the past month or so. I’m fine, really, just letting little things get to me is all.” Virgil looked sad and concerned at this.

“Is there anything specific you wanna talk about, Logan?” Virgil moved one of their hands and continued rubbing Logan’s back in slow circles, encouraging Logan to elaborate.

“I’ve just been so stressed lately. Work’s been ridiculously busy, I’m falling behind on my homework, chores have been piling up here at the house and it’s been driving me crazy, and people have been making rude comments-”

Virgil narrowed their eyes. “Who’s been saying rude things to you? Is it that mean librarian, I’ll fight her!” Logan nodded.

“Yeah, she just- every time I go in, she gives me attitude and acts like I’m a waste of her time. I see the ugly looks she gives me, especially when I’m wearing my skirts and dresses. I’ve been trying to do what Patton had suggested and kill them with kindness. I want to be confident enough not to care, the way Roman is. But sometimes I just get so angry, Virgil, I just want to yell and stand up for myself. Causing a scene won’t do anything though, so I just ignore it and let it eat me up inside. The worst of it is that she isn’t the only one who gives me those looks. Who laughs at me. Who says something, either under their breath or to my face. I’m just so tired of it all.”

Logan’s voice caught in hyr throat and zhe closed hyr eyes. A few tears fell down and Logan could feel Virgil wipe them away with the pad of his thumb. “Shh, hey, Logan it’s okay. People suck, but if they have an issue with you and how you dress, that’s on them. It’s none of their business and they don’t get to have a say. I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with that. Why didn’t you tell me about any of this?”

Logan felt tears beginning to well up again and zhe shook hyr head as if to clear them away. “I know how hard things can be for you, Virgil. You have your own problems to deal with, not to mention your anxiety. I didn’t want to make things worse for you by giving you my problems to deal with as well. That wouldn’t be fair to you.”

Virgil held Logan close, his voice shaky. “Logan… I hate seeing you do this to yourself. Please don’t bottle things up like this anymore. Trust me, it doesn’t help anything. It just makes things worse. We’re partners, and you are  _ never _ a bother. Your problems matter just as much as mine do. We’re in this together, okay? I’m the one who should be apologizing. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you when you needed me. I should have realized something was off sooner. I’m sorry, Logan.”

Now Virgil was crying, and it was Logan’s turn to reach up and wipe their tears away. “I’m sorry too. It isn’t your fault; I’m the one who was actively trying to hide this from you. Don’t cry, stormcloud, please. I’m gonna be okay. We’re going to be okay.”

They stayed there in each other’s arms for a long time before Virgil finally spoke. “I love you, Logan. You mean the world to me, you know that, right?”

Logan hummed softly. “Yes, I know. You mean the world to me as well.”

He planted a soft kiss on the top of Logan’s head. “We’ll figure out something to do about that mean librarian. I’ll do my best to help with your homework; maybe you can talk to your professors about it? As for chores, we can knock those out together. But right now, we’re not gonna worry about any of that.”

Logan looked up at Virgil curiously. “We’re not?”

“Nope. Right now I’m going to get us some food and we’re gonna cuddle on the couch and watch Netflix.”

“Oh. Virgil that sounds lovely, but what about our lunch date at the diner? You love the diner. We always go there on Tuesdays, and-” Virgil cut Logan off with a kiss. Logan let out a small noise of surprise before kissing back. 

Virgil pulled away and planted soft kisses all over Logan’s face, making hyr laugh. “I do love the diner, but I love spending time with you more than anything. Where we are doesn’t matter as long as we’re together. Right now I just want to take care of you, okay love?”

Logan smiled, feeling better for the first time in a while. Zhe couldn’t believe how lucky zhe was to have someone as amazing as Virgil in hyr life. “Thank you for everything, Virgil.”

Virgil stood and lifted hyr hand to their lips, planting a soft kiss there. “Of course, starlight. I’m always going to be here for you.”


End file.
